Answering machine messages: “I am not available right now but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life.” “Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

Ronda Reiding had her niece Deana Henderson from Choteau lunch with her on Oct. 2nd.  On Oct. 3rd Ronda’s brother Don Henderson from Medical Lake, Wash., came to visit her. Ronda’s been busy as her son, Clint had a birthday on Oct. 2nd. I promised not to reveal his age.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere. I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

The quote of the month was by Jay Leno: “With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”  For those who understand, no explanation needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation possible.

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?” The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple of blocks and turn to your right.” The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town.  I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday … I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.” The little boy replied,  “You’re kidding me, right?  You don’t even know the way to the Post Office!”

Some of Grandma’s home remedies:  “For better digestion – drink beer. In the case of appetite loss, drink white wine. In the case of low blood pressure, drink red wine. In the case of high blood pressure, drink scotch. And when I have a cold, I drink Schnapps.” “When do you drink water?” “I’ve never been that sick.”

The Will: Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present, and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready, he begins to speak: “Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.” Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.”, “Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.” “Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been a hardworking man to have accumulated all this property” Sarah replies, “Property? The fool had a paper route!”